i’m scared it’s contagious
I'm scared it's contagious
I'm a dam waiting to break
Cracks drip insecurities
I dare not let it break
Wash away my vulnerabilities
My love sits stagnant
Pressure builds
I have loved before
When I was younger
Or was I just immature
And full of cum
It didn't matter I never acted
Bound by my insecurities and fear
Always wearing a mask
I hear what you’re thinking
My thoughts are your voices
Chains that wind tighter every year
I'm afraid of my sexual tension
And how it might manifest
Unbearable evil has
Become ingrained in me
I'm so sorry, drowning in unforgiveness
I'm an addict, a liar, a thief
It's All about me
Who could love me
I don't love me
I'll drain you clean
Who could love me, I thought the drugs
Not me nor I or it
You'll only hurt
Look at this face
Full of impurities
Pure ugliness
Full of black heads
And everyone is racist
The TV says that
Perfection equals success
Like it’s life's math equation
Unattainable
Treadmill ceases
Bloody nose,
curtains Close
ends the show
Ideas filtered through
What I believe
Thoughts of suicide
Turn off my TV channel
Tune out
Breath in , breath out
Look deep inside
Breath in, breath outA hint of peace comes and goes
A quiet voice
emerges out
From the chaos
It's hard to hear
You must lose yourself
To find yourself
There is no more trying
You are at the ending
Flip the world upside down
Change the norm
Divide perspective by truth
God's reality
Her reality
Imperfections
Are perfections
Vulnerability
Is clarity
I have a choice
Believe God's word
Or my word
Wrapped around chord
Waiting for the floor board
To give way ending my suffering
A volcano erupts and I feel the warmth
The building shakes
Sounds of people falling to their death
I take the nuance and decide to join
My skin starts to burn and melt
The pain relieves my pain until I'm in a fire
It's a numbing pain but I'm free from self
A woman clings on to the window seal bellow mine.
I tossed the rope to her. My skin drips off me because I am being reborn.
Terror fills the women's eyes as she crawls into the window. She watches in paralyzed disbelief as I disintegrate, ashes give way to firefighters.